Sunday, March 13, 2022

SOLSC 2022 #13 - In sympathy

 






It is March 2022 and time for the
Every single day, for all thirty-one days of March,
writers will share stories.
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of teacher-writers!




"Look at these! I like these. These are little books." Three year old Frog was standing on our couch, reaching up towards the half-wall, which was lined with sympathy cards. 

"Those are cards, honey; we received those because Poppa's sister died," I explain.

She turns to her grandfather with a puzzled look, as if confirming this story of mine. She's too young to fully understand what it means to have died, but she is not one to be impeded by new language or terms. "Poppa, read me this one. Read me this book." Frog hands one of the cards to her grandfather, and he begins to read it out loud. Very soon, there is a pause, as he presses his lips together to resist crying. 

After a moment, he reads on, with a quavering voice. 

Frog hands him another card to read. And a third. 

It is too much; the tears win out. His face falters, his eyes moisten, his chin trembles, his tears flow. 

Frog stares at him. (Preschoolers can, at times, be so cold and distant when there is pain, 'ambulance-chasers,' drawn to the excitement but simply observing.) Then she hands me the next card. "Read this one, Nana. Let's read every little book up here. I like these." Frog is not to be deterred.

And there we were - Frog wedged between the two of us on the couch, me reading the cards one-by-one as she kept them in a stack on her lap, and Poppa listening with misty eyes. After I read each card aloud, Frog compared their pictures - "This has a bird! This has flowers! Here's a really big flower! This is a leaf from a tree. Which do you like, Nana?"

"I like them all."

"So do I, Nana, so do I."

This whole scene was really quite brief, only a matter of a few minutes. I am again reminded of the extraordinary magic of the young, their precious gift to us. I think: 

children slow us down 
make us pause
look closely at the cracks

which 
if we allow ourselves to follow their lead
to be present in their curiosity
along the fault lines
we will 
see 
think 
go 
deeper

we 
will 
feel

There's no rushing past
no ignoring

only together 
in this pain 

15 comments:

  1. Oh, Maureen, as they say, out of the mouth of babes… I wonder if this moment will stick in Frog’s mind, if she will remember those cards and tell this story. Are you creating a memory book of your “Frog” posts for her? This is such a touching moment. Peace and comfort to you and Tony.

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    1. I wonder if she'll hold onto these moments, too. I really should be creating a memory book for her...I am terribly disorganized with my writing! Thanks, Glenda.

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  2. I am crying, for sure. I wrote about my 3 year old grandson's pretend play, but I can relate to the curiosity of your Frog. "curiosity along the fault lines" is a perfect line.

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    1. I will look up your post, Margaret! Children's words and play are so dear. Thank you for this!

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    2. I thought of your post when I read this too, Margaret. Both posts capture that beauty of childhood.

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  3. So touching to read this. Thank you for sharing.

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  4. How I love this observation that children slow us down and make us look closely at the cracks. And that preschoolers can be so coldly analytical in the face of grief...it is a foreign thing to them, a wonder, a curiosity. Oh, that they should not know it for themselves, for as long as possible... it comes too soon. A very moving post and please tell Poppa we are sorry for the loss of his sister.

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    1. Thank you, Fran. You are right - this is all new to them, a wonder, a curiosity. I agree with you - may they not know grief for as long as possible.

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  5. Children slow us down and make us look closely at the cracks, lovely line. Thanks for sharing

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  6. Your observations of the small but significant moments, "the cracks" as you call them is beautiful and moving with both observations and a desire to understand, just like Frog was doing. I wondered if she wanted to help Grandpa not cry by noticing the beauty of life. And then I wonder if she, when grown, will remember this moment.

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    1. I love this! Yes, I am wondering, too, if she was trying to help him not to be sad, by pointing out the beauty in the cards. Thank you!

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  7. Your closing lines, Maureen, are such a beautiful summary of what happened. You have painted a picture of this lovely scene, and the benefits of it are perfectly captured in these lines:

    "if we allow ourselves to follow their lead
    to be present in their curiosity
    along the fault lines
    we will
    see
    think
    go
    deeper

    we
    will
    feel"

    Tony got to feel this again with Frog leading. Peace to you all, friend.

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    1. Yes, Denise! Both Tony and I had stopped noticing the cards, and she had us pause and reflect again. It really was a gift.

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