Imperfect wonder

Today is the fourth day of the November 5 Day OpenWrite with Dr. Sarah J. Donovan's Ethical ELA. Thus far, we have written in response to "thanks," "giving," and "receiving." Dr. Donovan continues this thoughtful series today with a focus on "breath" and her inspiration is:

Now, I invite you to name what you breathe in. What do you want to, need to breathe in, to receive (yes, return to yesterday’s poem)? This may be abstract or concrete.

And then name what you breathe out. This may be something toxic in your body or life that you want to expel, or it may be something that you are giving to others, the world. Perhaps what you exhale is a wish or a gift.

For the poem's structure, we were encouraged to try a nonet duo or a diamante. Both of these poetic structures are new to me. I decided to try the nonet duo, and I wrote about my forest walks. (These always help me to breathe!) Here is my poem:

walking through the forest in autumn

winds shifting branches with a groan 

craggy old trees standing stark 

sad crunch of leaves dying

light and warmth waning

tired world is 

whispering

take a

breath

keep

walking

look again

notice the worn

the broken branches 

hear their groans as exhale

absorb how old trees stretch high 

sun and shadows weave together 

write into this imperfect wonder

Here are the comments I received on the Ethical ELA website:

Glenda M. Funk

Maureen,
This is truly beautiful. The way you personify nature speaking in

tired world is
whispering
take a
breath

offers permission to pause, reflect, and heal. I love the last line, too. It’s cathartic in its purpose:

write into this imperfect wonder

Amanda Potts, who sometimes writes in this group, posts pictures each day from her walks. All summer she shared flower images on FB and IG. Lately she’s shared dying flower, leaves, and other images revealing the beauty of a tired world. Your poem honors this fall beauty. 

Erica J How lovely to take us through this walk in the woods. I love how as the poem got shorter, it matched the scenery around you also “waning” — it was prefect! And then when it starts to expand again you bring this hope to the poem. I really appreciated that twist.

I absolutely love the line ‘write into this imperfect wonder” — that aspect of nature is my favorite to capture as well

Thank you for sharing this poem!

gayle sands

Maureen—I needed this. In the last week, three close friends have lost—or are losing—family members. I need some solace.

Sarah J. Donovan, PhD

Maureen,
I want to be the tree in your poem stretching high! I love this image of “sun and shadows” together — complementing toward — and this — “imperfect wonder”! Wow!
Sarah

SOL20 Slice #18: A walk

I am participating in the
 Slice of Life Story Challenge (SOL20).  
All participants are sharing stories about moments in their lives, writing 
 every day for the month of March 2020.
Thank you, Two Writing Teachers!

There's something about
the grey of the day,
the mournful cry of an anonymous bird,
the need to step around dog mess that someone
thoughtlessly
didn't scoop,
so many solitary figures walking on the bike path
in the middle of a work day,
the brown, curled leaves on so many trees that
missed a winter
and so
never fell away,
there's something about all this,
that makes me want to return home from my walk
and lose myself
in a carton of chocolate ice cream.

Melancholy wind chimes
aged copper
sing in the breeze
stop me and restart me.

I see her stretch to hold her mother's hand
as she toddles beside her,
I hear him laugh as he rides fast
down the hill
on his scooter,
Now I hear the creek babble,
l see the early cherry blossoms,
the yellow and orange daffodils,
I breathe in deeply,
the fresh and fragrant new spring air,
and think
maybe I just need a cup of tea
on the porch.

Earlier,
going out of my mind,
now
getting out of my head,
finding hope,
on a walk.