Too many words

Happy January 2022! Another year beckons, another year awaits, another year welcomes. 

We began the year here in Maryland with unseasonably warm temperatures - taking walks in long sleeve shirts, pulling weeds from the yard, sitting on the porch for a moment...the world appearing to be spring. Then, overnight, a storm front came in and the temperatures plummeted and we are now blanketed in snow -

Are we standing on the threshold of another year of the word   

EXTREME?

That is not the word I intend to focus on this year, oh my, no. 
If that is the word placed upon my shoulders, I will serve up DENIAL instead. hahaha. 

Escape. Hide. Ignore. Read. Write. Hibernate. 

I've been flirting with choosing 'one little word' for this year, and so many words cross my mind. This is always a bit of a wrestle for me. I find choosing one word to be elusive, impossible, both beyond and narrow...not quite big enough and yet overwhelming. How can one little word hold all my hopes and dreams for the time ahead?

I have a daily practice of a 'word of the day' - as revealed by angel cards, a gift from a dear friend a long time ago. This is an inspirational and uplifting ritual, to randomly select a simple word of positivity and see what lens it adds to my day - do I struggle to achieve the word? does it spontaneously appear over and over throughout the day? I often begin my day by journaling into and about this one word.

Don't I need at least one word a day, not just one for the year?

Yesterday morning, as the snow fell, I sat on my bed with a cup of tea and my journal, with the curtains pulled open wide, so I could be an eyewitness to the immersive quiet of the falling wonder. 

Truly, is there anything more delightful than a snow day? This unexpected indulgence of found time?

I had to take a photo:

No, I thought, I need to look closer. So I got out of bed and moved nearer:

No, this is still not enough for me, I must get closer, so I moved all the nearer to the screen:

Oh my, look at my mahonia shrub. It has been unexpectedly transformed - this prickly bush looks so soft and cuddly, almost squishy, like a child's plaything. The gift of snow, letting me see things in new ways.

Wait...what is that? I looked even closer, and took one more photo:

Still paused at my window yet looking even closer,  I discovered that the snow had created almost a path in the midst of the shrubs, a hollowing out, beckoning, inviting...revealing this magical little open space that is not normally there.

Do you see it, too?

This, this, this

is what I want for my year ahead,

to follow embrace manifest expect wander imagine do play go nurture believe pursue immerse pause hope dive linger create unfold reveal connect explore deepen love.

I want to find the ever-present positive, I want to find the light.

I am realizing, it is so easy to name what is painful and hard about life these days.

It is so easy to wallow and complain.

My intention this year is to seek, discover, and observe

the light that surrounds me

even in the midst of all this yuck.

Why not focus on

what is good in the world and bask in this a little bit?

What offers hope?

What joy am I missing?

This year, I seek light and 

strive to share it, show it, shine it, 

whenever possible. 

There's my one little word:

light

Yes, I like that.

Happy new year, everyone!! May blessings abound!

___________________

It's Tuesday and I am participating in the

 Slice of Life.  

Thank you, Two Writing Teachers, for creating this supportive community 

of teacher-writers!

Happy New Year, 2020!

I am participating in the
 Slice of Life.  
All participants are writing about one moment, one part of their day, 
on Tuesdays.
Thank you, Two Writing Teachers!

Every year, for several years now, Tony's brother boxes up a big big box of pecans that he collects from a friend's backyard trees. A huge box. Pecans, still in their shells. He even sent us a fancy nutcracker - almost a small machine - to make the work of breaking them open much easier. May I admit to you, honestly, how I enjoyed this box at first and how much I have resented it in subsequent years? How is it possible to use up all these pecans? How patient must I be to crack open pecan after pecan? Hear me on this - it is such abundance, we simply cannot get through the pecans in a single year, and here comes more! The pecans themselves are hit and miss - some years very good, some years not so much. We give pecans to neighbors and friends, and still the box doesn't empty. I said to my husband...are we allowed to throw some out? can we at least get rid of the large cardboard box? I cheered myself up by getting a pretty glass cookie jar, and filling it to the brim with pecans - only to realize I needed two or three of these jars. I filled a pretty bowl. I became annoyed. I am so tired of looking at containers of pecans.

This Christmas, Tony cracked open pecans and declared - "These are a little dried out. I don't think we've really got any good ones left."

Silence.

You see, my brother-in-law died last summer. We didn't get a big box of pecans this year. We only have the dwindling number from last year's box. 

How sad I feel that I got so frustrated about those darn nuts.

Wouldn't we have loved another box of them this year?

Why did I waste time with frustration and annoyance? 

Soften.

As well you know, it's that time of year when one thinks about New Year resolutions. I've been going back and forth as to what should be my one little word this year...what one word describes my focus, my goal, my hope? 

Soften.

There's a beautiful meditation that I read in a book by Steven Levine, called the 'Soft-belly Meditation,' with these phrases that jumped out at me:

Take a few deep breaths...

Soften the muscles that have held the fear for so long...
Let the awareness be gentle and allowing...
Have mercy on yourself...

In soft body, in soft mind, just letting it be there...

Let thoughts come and let them go...

Let the healing in...

Soften.

When my children were young, I used to love to read parenting advice from Marguerite Kelly. I remember her suggesting a litmus test for things to get aggravated about  - Will it matter in 100 years? If not, let it go. If yes, do something about it.

Soften.

I'm tired of getting myself into knots during my teaching day, due to a zillion different "adult-initiated problems" - lack of subs, lack of planning for required meetings that end up feeling like a waste of precious time, lack of clarity about certain mandatory to do's, etc. (I don't typically get frustrated by young children - it's adults that make me crazy ;-) I think it is high time I realized that things rarely go as expected! I'm going to try my best not to take offense.

Soften.

This morning's sunrise seemed to cheer on this word choice - no bright colors, just muted, gorgeous streaks across the early morning grey sky. 

Soften.