I'm trying something new, taking a risk this month - participating in#VerseLove with Sarah Donovan,
hoping to write poetry every day this April.
Today's poetry challenge is to think about "firsts," those experiences in life that stick with you. Write a poem with sensory words and details. I brainstormed a list of first experiences, and settled in on moving away from home.
The Dorm Room
The fluorescent light flickered
on and off,
wavering,
then settled on solid and bright,
revealing,
a room so small, there was
only one way
to set up the three pieces of furniture,
a narrow twin bed, desk with a chair.
My sophomore year of college,
moving onto campus.
Unlike my brothers,
I had not been permitted,
to live away from home.
Mom said my desire to live by myself,
was the devil speaking,
I was inviting
sin,
sex,
selling my soul.
A miserable solitary year,
commuting by bus,
working extra shifts at the library,
saving every cent,
followed by a summer conversation with Dad.
“You will pay for college and not housing?”
Yes.
“I can count on this, you will pay for my tuition?”
Yes.
“Thank you, Dad. This is really a gift.
I appreciate it.”
You’re welcome.
“And - I have signed and paid for housing for next year.
I am going to live on campus. I am moving out.”
I remember
his look of surprise,
guffaw of admiration -
seeing my courage,
my swift maneuver.
I had beat the system.
It would be Thanksgiving,
some five months later,
before my mother spoke to me, and then
it was little more than
“Pass the salt shaker.”
I broke my mother’s heart,
I opened up my own.
The fluorescent light flickered
on and off,
wavering,
then settling on solid and bright,
revealing,
a room so small there was
only one way to set up the three pieces of furniture,
a narrow twin bed, desk with a chair.
I have never lived anywhere as sublime.
Alex Berkley, from Sarah Donovan's 30 Days of Poetry website:
ReplyDeleteWhat a vivid memory and unique experience. Thank you for sharing this.
Laura Langley, from Sarah Donovan's 30 Days of Poetry website:
ReplyDeleteMaureen, the motion and illumination of the light that bookends your poem is lovely and powerful image that reflects the profound that can live within the mundane. I like the way that you’ve collected specific moments that reflect the weight of this move but aren’t the move itself. Very powerful.
Emily Yamasaki, from Sarah Donovan's 30 Days of Poetry website:
ReplyDeleteI love so much about your poem and your experience. These lines:
“I broke my mother’s heart,
I opened up my own.”
really hit my right in the heart. I feel as though many times I have done the same with my mother. Thank you so much for sharing your poem.
Jennifer Jowett, from Sarah Donovan's 30 Days of Poetry website:
ReplyDeleteMaureen, the decision to frame the piece with the same words allows us to experience the shift with you – the movement from what seems like an ordinary dorm room move to the extraordinary, the admiration and courage we see in you, as did your dad. I hope your relationship with your mother has moved in this direction as well. The lines, “I broke my mother’s heart/I opened up my own” are both heart-wrenching and admirable.
Denise, from Sarah Donovan's 30 Days of Poetry website:
ReplyDeleteBeautiful repetition of the sparse, but sublime room. From the first stanza to the last, the meaning changes completely. It’s a room of triumph. I like your dad’s reaction. Hearts heal, and you did a brave thing opening up your own.
Sarah J. Donovan, PhD, from her 30 Days of Poetry website:
ReplyDeleteOh, I love this circling of ideas and imagery, Maureen. Have you read Educated? There is a familiarity in your lines but not from my life. You are brave and savvy, as many women I have known. I so admire you, and love the appreciation you have for the three pieces of furniture (maybe you, mom, and dad) being rearranged.
Sarah
Barb Edler, from Sarah Donovan's 30 Days of Poetry website:
ReplyDeleteMaureen, your poem is so powerful! I so enjoyed the way you described your father’s reaction, and your mother’s fears: “sex, sin, selling my soul”. So perfectly delivered here. The end is truly a celebration of self. Thanks for sharing your personal strength in this poem.
Stacey Joy, from Sarah Donovan's 30 Days of Poetry website:
ReplyDeleteHi Maureen,
Love the freeing experience of making a decision when we are young, no real worries about the outcomes. I love that your dad gave you surprise but also admiration. That took courage for both of you! Sorry that your mom’s heart felt broken, it actually wasn’t, I would say she was disappointed. But look at the beauty of your decision and how you saw it as “opened up my own” heart. That’s incredibly powerful.
I would love to know how things went after it all settled in with your mom. Maybe that’ll come up in another poem another day. You’ve got me involved in the storyline!
Amazing poem!
glenda funk, from Sarah Donovan's 30 Days of Poetry website:
ReplyDeleteMaureen,
Bravo! I was clapping for you throughout. Your mother’s words sting:
“Mom said my desire to live by myself,
was the devil speaking,
I was inviting
sin,
sex,
selling my soul.“
I’ll admit I now see those judgments as invitations for fun. I had an earlier curfew than my brother who was five years younger. “Girls can get in trouble. Boys can’t.” (Insert eye roll). My favorite lines: “I broke my mother’s heart, /
I opened up my own.” Sometimes this is necessary if we are to thrive. I just love your rebellious spirit. And like your dorm room, this poem is sublime. Thank you.
—Glenda
Jamie, from Sarah Donovan's 30 Days of Poetry website:
ReplyDeleteLiving away from home for the first time – an act of courage, agency – I like the fluorescent light flickered – it shows sublime – I like the hint of your father’s pride – it creates a tension with your mother’s reaction